Friday, July 1, 2011

There was an old lady who noticed a facebook status...

There will be no pictures to accompany the following story.

Some brilliant old lady
(not mentioning any names)
noticed a status update from a much less seasoned friend on facebook concerning a new exercise program....

"Cause of death:P90X"

You would think that this comment would give the jiggly mature woman a hint of trouble.

Instead, her quick typing fingers jumped in
piped up
volunteered for personal pain.

So here is how things went down...

I...I mean, she, as in-the older, riper character in our little story...

towed her two youngest children into the coffee shop to pick up the DVD of the workout from the chipper bubbly little missy. 

There was a hint of trouble when the old lady noticed an evil gleam in the young lady's eyes as she handed over the disc.

After the old lady
(i'm kinda getting sick of saying that!)
got home,
cooked 800 lbs. of pork roasts for the boyscouts,
chased a three year old around the yard for 45 minutes,
got caught by a friend blowing up the baby pool while laying with her face in the grass balancing the baby who was already trying to get into the pool,

is this getting to be a run-on sentence?? 
Stay with me here...

fed the children supper,
gave them a bath
tucked them into bed,


She bounded downstairs
and rared up the ol' DVD
and started warming up.
"How hard could it be??"
She thought,
shortly before she realized she could not even do


on her knees.

Now the plan was for the older lady to do some catching up while the younger lady took a few days off.  Then they would be on the same schedule and could work out together.


So, she struggled through,
attempted to lift,
and pull and push.
It was ugly.
Real ugly.

And now she sits at her computer.
Her body numb except for the fingers that got her into this mess in the first place.

She wonders...

"If you remove comments from a day old facebook conversation,
does that mean you are freed from any unwise commitments made therein?"

Then falls asleep,
her drool pooling on the keyboard.

To be continued...


  1. ROFL... Hey, I'm older than both of y'all, and I do P90X! Just start where you are and do what you can. The results, truly, are amazing. Even if I STILL feel like the fluffy cousin.