P(purposefully) M(making up) S(stuff to be cranky about)

P.M.S.

gonna be real honest here.

i am in the depths of it.

i once asked the Dr. if, 

for the sake of the children, 

there was anything he could give me 

for this little problem.

He said, 

and i quote,

"Watch what you eat and exercise 

and just have some self control."

OK. and thanks a million.

now stay with me here...

i gotta run and check on elsa,

i hear the beeping of my cell phone and 

i gotta see who she is randomly dialing...

Ok. i am back.

and to whoever she called,

please don't mistake that for 

a heavy breathing prank call.

Dang caller-ID anyways.

Sooo...

Back to PMS...

(Isn't that the way it always goes?)

Well, ok. i will exercise.

So i set my alarm for 5:30.

A good hour before anybody gets up.

For three days i sweat and bounce 

my flabby self 

along on the treadmill

with no incidents like this mind you.

But on the fourth day it happens.

Alarm goes off.

i hit snooze and have the back and forth

bantering self talk about 

how after yesterday

sleep would be more productive than exercise

in the analysis of self preservation.

And just the time the health enthusiast 

in me wins the argument,

I hear something from afar...

MAMA!...MAMA!...MAMA!

EAT!...MILK!...UP!

seriously.

baby radar.

every. single. time.

Alright I guess if I can't exercise to fix this issue...

I will watch what I eat.

So I watch it.

I eat everything in sight.

and I watch it go into my mouth.

Still no changes.

I think that Dr. needs to take 

some refresher courses.