Teaching the kids to color on walls.

The other day I thought

(or likely said out loud)

to myself...

"Girl! You have lived here three months and not a drop of paint has splattered across the floor.

Get in gear!

Let's see those bristles bristle,

those rollers roll."

So I obeyed that smart ol' voice in my head

and got out a trusty gallon of black paint.

What?? you don't just have a spare gallon

of black paint laying around???

Slapped it up on the wall.

Followed by a couple of coats of chalkboard paint from my supplier mother.

Then I read...

"allow to cure for 1 week."

Hmmm...

Don't know that I have ever been able to wait a week for anything.

Well maybe for lolly gagging

 babies that refused birth.

But that is another story altogether.

So I did it.

Well I waited 3 days.

Then I figured that since technically

when you have a baby at home each day's length strings out ultra long. So that would be 4. 

And with the heat, 5

and the multiple wind gusts from the kids opening and shutting the door, 6 &7

 It was surely enough time.

Our hero ran to the store and bought us two boxes of chalk and away we drew.

I'm thinking of finishing off 

the entire house with it.

One. Big. Canvas.

Victory and a plunger. hmmm do you really wanna read this???

This morning started out like any typical morning.

Baby wakes up.

Sleep walk to get the baby.

Feed the baby…

go back to sleep.

Have a few weird morning dreams.

Eventually convince myself to get up.

Go into the privy…….

I will spare you a few details.

But then today things got a little crazy.

Staaaaay with me here…

I was sitting there when a 

mouse

darted across the floor.

Let me just say that mice to me are THE worst.

Yes, I am one of those

jump-up-on-a-chair kinda girls.

THE MOUSE SCURRIED

ACROSS THE FLOOR.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Keep in mind that in my

cracker-box-farmhouse,

the bathroom is

tiny.

Which means the mouse was within

a few feet!

But not my feet.

Because suddenly I was standing on top of the john.

It  took the entire half ounce of self-control that I possess,

not to shriek.

A verification of the gargantuan value of moments

when slumber reins the multitudes

In desperation the mouse ran back and forth

across the doorway

in search of an escape route.

Similarly my mind darted

back and forth

in search of an escape route.

One of us was going to have to leave the lavatory.

I am taking deep breaths

even as I type.

Keep it together girl.

Keep it together.

Scan bathroom for

weapon.

Scan bathroom for

     prince charming??

Scan bathroom for

cell phone??????

Would 911 respond to this call?

PLUNGER!

Perfect.

And actually it turned out like a video game.

Wack.

Mouse runs.

Hop down from toilet,

jump onto edge of tub.

Wack.

Hop down from tub,

jump onto toilet.

Gasp as mouse runs vertically UP hamper!

Wack.

Hop down from toilet,

jump onto edge of tub.

 *W*A*C*K*

Now we are both stunned.

Well, one of us might be dead,

but you can never be sure.

After a few moments of regained composure (on my part)

I got a handful of TP.

But what if there was still movement???

HEARTATTACK!!

So I grabbed a rag, too.

And, unbeknownst to me,

dumped a half of a box of Q-tips on the floor.

Tossed mouse outside.

LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY.

Too bad I didn't go through with the surveillance idea. 

Coulda been the next YouTube sensation.

 

Another paint project

My living room is finished.

Yay!!

I got my cupboard all painted up and am so

happy to be done. 

In the process, I discovered that it is waaay easier to paint at somebody else's house.

They clean up the toys before you come and don't have kids climbing up your legs!

But anyways...

I painted the cupboard red.

Like...stop sign RED.

It looked plastic.

I didn't really like it.

Sooo, I added some black

to antique it

a bit and that fixed it right up.

the canary has flown

It's official:

The canary has flown. 

The Sunflower has wilted. 

The yellow is gone. 

Here is the grey

 It has a bit of green that

reminds me of these...

 

and a peacefulness that

makes me think of this...

Gone grey!

I have officially gone grey!!

I stayed up all night painting the livingroom.

I am writing this on my phone during elsas midnight snack.

I plan on zombie walking through tuesday.

I might get a chance to post some pictures.

PS. if the Home Depot lady that convinced me to paint the ceiling white instead of grey is reading this...
You were right and I love you for it!

Xoxo

Junk Mitosis

Would the person responsible for all of the crap in my basement please step forward…

Hello?  Anyone?

Ok if no one is responsible...

my theory about junk mitosis must be correct.

You see, only two years ago, I took all of the rubble from many moves and much collecting and had a garage sale.  On the block was everything that was not tied down.  I even tried to sell that scraggly box of nuts, bolts, screws and nails.  Everything that did not sell was donated. 

Basement Bliss!

Fast forward to this week.

While rummaging through some books downstairs, Larry made a horrible discovery. 

The box of scrapbooks that sat on the floor had a big crack in it and sometime last summer suffered from water damage. 

Yep. 

Moldy scrapbooks. 

BOOO HOOOOOO! 

Some of the victims were the world travels of Larry’s Navy days, my childhood memories and some of our wedding pictures. 

I wanted to throw up.

Instead I began another basement purge.

And so started my theory…  All of the junk that disappeared a few short seasons ago had spontaneously reproduced.

• A Christmas tree (plus 2 little ones)…along with some great decorations

• Enough clothes to open a thrift store…all sizes available

• 4 hand-me-down ride on toys and a plastic kitchen

• A box of dried out squash from the garden that we never ate

• Empty shoe boxes…I will retain an ounce of dignity and not mention any numbers but lets just say I might have a problem

Where did it come from?

No dump truck backed beeping up to my doorstep.

 No Supermarket Sweep winnings (remember that show?) 

No donations brought in for my orphan children.

I guess if it did not reproduce itself, it must have gotten down there one hurried chuck from the top of the stairs at a time.

Arrrg.