Thursday, March 31, 2011

Clinical Trials:

We went to a well child clinic this week.  You know the ones,
you shuffle your preschooler around to

check their eyes,

    check their ears,

   their teeth,

              their development.

You wonder repeatedly how you managed to forget to teach your kid to walk one foot in front of the other and swear to start training for next year's clinic a few weeks early.
 

You fill out a questionare that asks if your preschooler:

Throws tantrums
never; sometimes; often; always

Shares toys
never; sometimes; often; always

Accepts Limits

never; sometimes; often; always



Some of the questions I thought would've been better suited for the mother.

Does your preschooler Mother:

Frequently change moods
never; sometimes; often; always


Use acceptable behavior
to solve problems
never; sometimes; often; always

Understand and Express Feelings

never; sometimes; often; always


Your kid clams up and won't talk until the well meaning screeners ask them to identify a picture of a fridge.

Screener: "What's this?"

Milo: "It's a fridge."

Screener: "Right! What's in it?"

Milo: "Yucky stuff."

ahem...i guess i need to clean out the fridge more often.


But I guess it could have been worse; one of the ladies there told me that a child once answered a question this way:

Screener:"Finish this sentence:
    Mommy is a girl,
    daddy is a...?"


Kid: "Creep."





Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Happy Birthday Levi Bobaroni

It doesn't seem that long ago that my boy was in preschool.
The teacher asked him for his middle name and he piped up,
"BOBARONI!"

So fast forward a day or a couple thousand, now he's taller and way smarter than me and his boots are like giant trees growing up from the hard wood floors! 

HE is fourteen today!!!
he IS fourteen today!!!
he is FOURTEEN today!!!
he is fourteen TODAY!!!



This sweet boy is a lot like his daddy; quiet and full of intensity,
loyal beyond belief.

If the world could have a touch of the compassion that he holds inside his heart, it would be a much gentler place.

Happy Birthday,
 Levi Bobaroni!!
You are an amazing big brother and incredibly special son.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

i thought i was hip. im just old.

Every time we get in the car Josi turns the radio to the
latest and greatest. 

Most of the time it makes
me feel old.  

Lately I have been hearing some songs I knew back in the day. 

I think ooooh yeah..
this is a good song
and start to sing along;
suddenly I'm 16 again,rockin to the radio...

Just when I get into it the rap starts and I am swept back to thirty something.

So for those of you who are young: here is the real deal.

To the aged: here is a flashback.






Monday, March 28, 2011

blown balloon blues

 



I sign Milo up for preschool today.
Don't know if I should sing or cry.  He is a sweetie pie, but I think he's getting bored with me.


This weekend he had a balloon with a face drawn on it.  When we opened the car door at wally world that nasty old wind stole it away.  Due to the fact that this was the 99th
straw-that-caused-an-emotional-breakdown of the day, he got really blue.



He cried and fussed.
(you know it's a bad sign when you walk
into the store with a screamer)

Finally he settled down and said,
"Maybe my balloon flew up to heaven and God is holding it for me."


{Que mom's heart melting onto walmart floor}




         










Saturday, March 26, 2011

Insane Day!!!!!

Busy weekend month ahead
wondering how it filled up so fast
thinkin about it makes me
 just a little batty bizarre cracked crazed crazy cuckoo daft demented derailed deranged fatuous frenzied impractical irrational irresponsible loony mad maniacal mental moonstruck nuts nutty preposterous psychopathic psychotic rabid raging raving schizophrenic screwy senseless unhinged unsettled wild

aah feelin bedda already.



Friday, March 25, 2011

A little Q and A with the Boss




Q: What is your favorite color?
A: Blue


Q: What is your favorite food? 
A: Hot dogs

  
Q: How old is daddy?
A: 23

  
Q: How old is mommy?
A: 23


Q: Who is the president?
A: Mommy


Q: Where do you live?
A: Here

Thursday, March 24, 2011

My Dreams Come True in Just One Click!!!!!


Usually I just empty the junk folder on my email but today I browsed all the way through an entire week's worth.

Good thing I did because it turns out that there is one fantastic deal in my city!
(we are on the map now baby!) 

Amazingly, I can also fix a few problems that I didn't even know I had, including that nail fungus and compensation for my recent accident, and I can even add a few inches!

(I always wanted to be taller)

I can make friends! I can find true love,the perfect car, and the truth about anyone!
 
I can be my own boss, upgrade to a new laptop, find cowboy boots that turn heads.

Get this, I can buy a
 GENUINE QUALITY ROLEX REPLICA! 
 I know, right?

Someone was looking for me and someone else showed interest in me.  

Soon after I click on that college education I have been waiting for, I can get skinny, remodel my bathroom, have lasik surgery and go on vacation to Hawaii, Vegas or Alaska.

And the deals! You won't believe all the deals.  At the other end of my clicking index finger awaits faster Internet, online banking, airline tickets, custom t-shirts, hosiery, steaks, cheap women's clothing, flags, SUVs, a maid, new floors, new fridge, AND stilettos.

What more could a girl want??   

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Once in forever kinda moon...

Did you catch it the other night?

 


Makes me sappy for my Pappy.
He sings to my babies this song:





Tell me why the stars do shine
Tell me why the ivy twines
Tell me why the sky is blue
and I will tell you
why I love you...




O Mr. Moon, Moon
Bright n silvery Moon
Hidin behind the trees...





 I'm gonna shoot that possum
with my big shot gun. 
Shoot that possum
til he starts to run.




O Mr. Moon, Moon,
Bright n silvery moon
woncha please shine down on
woncha shine down on
please shine down on me....
shine down on meeeee



Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Kale induced goiter

I have found a new love....
at least temporarily
it may even convince me to follow through with another feeble attempt at a garden.

It is of course the nutritional powerhouse

KALE
 
I found this recipe for Kale chips last summer when big Larry had his extraordinary garden full of oddities.  We had kale on our table and I had no idea of how to serve it. 
Salad...
wow the kids were excited about that!!

So I am either completely desperate for green to fill in the drabness of the barren winter landscape or this is absolutely delicious.
 
Like, I would eat it if I was still on my
(which I am)
It does have that crispy-salty crunch of a chip.
Seriously.

And so easy to make.

Even Milo wanted more and that is saying something.

One small draw back.

After I baked it up, I got curious about the 
"nutritional powerhouse" 
title and found this informational site about kale. 

It was wonderful to see all the great things I was subjecting to my body,
until I read the info on the possibility of over-consumption causing a



Now, it could have been that I had just inhaled 2 cups of baked Kale Chips in under a minute and they might have been wedged in my throat, but I am almost positive that I developed a goiter while reading the article.

The great news is that after I navigated away from that page the goiter disappeared and I lived to tell you about
Baked Kale Chips.

Really try it.


Monday, March 21, 2011

S*A*T*U*R*D*A*Y*

(clap,clap)

Totally Fantastic.
Spent the morning ALONE with Levi
(that never happens)
We went shopping for some new glasses
and wandered around Wally World.


Josi (the angel child) stayed home taking care of Milo and Elsa and when we got back she had even cleaned the house.



Later we picked up a friend of Josi's and spent part of the
afternoon tie dying. 
I had never done it before,
 what a blast!





You can buy a kit of 3 colors with dispenser bottles and rubber bands for less than $10 bucks.
If you don't think you have enough rubber bands, just stop buy the local grocery store and a cool chick that works there will give you a handful.
(Judy u rock!!!)





Finished off the day playing under the trees with Milo's new set of construction tractors that his big bro brought him from town.  We built a road and watched Elsa sample dirt and twigs.



If I could bottle the love I felt today, I would.  I would open it when I am older and greyer, and just bask in that familiar aroma of my children.



To Levi, Josi, Milo and Elsa:

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Saturday, March 19, 2011


     I LOVE HOOPLA!!!!  
               
 
 


                             

My sister Amy has always been a collector and a beautiful pixie of sorts. 
When we were little she could often be found collecting wild flowers with the cool mountain dirt under her toes, a silk edged  blankie as an eclectic cape over her tiny shoulders.

These days she still collects and creates; she still wears eclectic capes over her
tiny shoulders too.
 
Her smiling face can be seen welcoming travelers and locals into her warehouse in downtown Walden.  Amy's store,Hoopla!, has adorable vintage clothing and quirky combinations of treasures.  Lotsa times you will find live musicians strumming their guitars with shoppers singing along, or  kids and dogs stopping in to catch a breath between adventures.
And I am pretty sure that she is gonna be the first famous person in our family as she will be featured in an article this summer in Sunset magazine!!
I am so excited!
 Check her out on Facebook or in her online shop Hoochy Koochy.



Lately she has been designing fantastic jewelry made with porcupine quills, bullet casings and elk antlers.  She just opened an online site featuring her originals along with the works of some other unique artists...really cool stuff.
She is really cool stuff.
 



Friday, March 18, 2011

Getting even.

Five tips for torturing teens:




  • Offer to chaperon dances with hair like this:





    • Beat them over and over playing BS card game by using slight of hand magic tricks

    • Text them self portraits like this one:
       





    • Take away cell phone and change wallpaper to this one:




    • Hug them and kiss them and squeeze them over and over and over. (this one doesn't really count cuz they are just pretending that they don't love it)


    Thursday, March 17, 2011

    Elsa's Entourage

    When the reality about Elsa’s vision had begun to sink in, her first surgeries finished, her glasses perched up on her cute little nose; I had the overwhelming feeling that I was going to need some help. 

    And help we have received. 

    Elsa has some wonderful people in her life to keep us on the
    up and up.


    Two vision teachers visit her every week to shower her with loads of fun and toys, and encourage her to use those pretty eyes.  For her it means that she will be exposed to different ways of learning.  For me it means comfort that someone with expertise is keeping tabs on things and we won’t miss out on some necessary milestones for our girl.

    
    Elsa's teachers have taught us that by
    adding bright colors to Elsa's tray provides
    the contrast she needs to see her cheerios.
    


    

    Another angel that visits us is the occupational therapist.  She comes with a smile every other week to check in on Elsa’s progress and rally us on to the next acrobatic event. I'm not sure we would have survived tummy time without her.

    We also are very fortunate to have a visitor every few months from the Anchor Center, a preschool designed especially for visually impaired kiddos. She drives for hours to impart her wisdom, bringing all kinds of treasures for Miss E. to experience.
    We have learned that touching a variety of things
    helps Elsa get comfortable with the world around her.




    Organizing it all and keeping track of the plan, is a wonderful person that has a real heart of gold.  She is always available to help.


     


    The knowledge and experience that this entourage brings is amazing.  They have each helped in their special ways, sharing practical ideas, giving us a kick in the pants to keep moving forward, and always supporting Elsa with their sweet spirits.















     
    
    

    Tuesday, March 15, 2011

    grrrr

    It was just oneofthosedays.
    Growly mother.

    I tried getting it together more than once,
    look beyond the frustrations, 
    be thankful for all the good stuff,
    whine to my mother,
    whine to my pals,
    poor poor pitiful me.

    and then
    My sweetie bought me a new fluffy pillow and Josi made an obstacle course.

    Still i was cranky.

    i hate those kinda days. 
    what a waste.
    wish there was a rewind button.

    push rewind.  kick self in rump. start fresh.

    O Sweet tomorrow.





    Monday, March 14, 2011

    Gimme a BREAK!!

     Spring break has just started and I am suddenly surrounded by people

     (not mentioning any names LEVI and JOSI)

    who think it is hilarious to pick up on every stupid thing that their mother does. 

    I am not sure if it is the time change or the phase of the moon...maybe even the barometric pressure, but those "stupid" incidences have been all too frequent.

    For example, you should have seen the looks on their faces as I sat on the couch uncontrollably laughing at my own face twitches.


      They simply could not appreciate the humour.  
    Instead of amusing themselves with the anatomical glitch, they rolled their eyes and repeatedly said my name in that lower-octave-double-syllabled "mo-m." 


    Then as we were getting ready to pile in the car for Sunday school we realized that the keys were locked inside. 
    (again, not mentioning any names LARRY)
    My mother (had she known this) would have had a cow since she sent me the extra key to get activated  and it was locked inside. (shhhhh)

    Hi. Mom.

    So anyways, it was a little chilly as the snow was starting to fly and we are not gang banger car thieves by nature.  So, I took a little break to run inside to get some warm gloves and my coat.  Found the gloves, looked directly into their concerned teenage faces and said,

    "Oh I gotta run out to the car and get my coat."

    Again. Rolling. Of. The. Eyes. Snicker. Snicker.

    "MO-M, the car is lo-cked."




    happy. spring. break.

    Saturday, March 12, 2011

    Saturday Quote of the Week

    There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
    No song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart
    Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
    Like a, shoebox of photographs
    With sepia tone loving
    Love is the answer,
    At least for most of the questions in my heart
    Like why are we here? And where do we go?
    And how come it's so hard?
    It's not always easy and
    Sometimes life can be deceiving
    I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together.

    lyrics from Better When We're Together
                              -Jack Johnson

    Friday, March 11, 2011